Ruining my kids' lives

I am sitting on the couch on July 4th as all 3 kids are taking a nap. Yes, all 3; a 7 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old. In the time they have been asleep, 2 sets of friends have come over to play. While I enjoy the quiet time, I also get lost in the thoughts in my head. Am I ruining my kids' lives? Am I making them turn out weird? At this point, this is normal for the 1 year old but the older two?

To me, the reasons I do things make complete sense to me but seem like not many other parents out there think similar and I begin to doubt myself. My kids are napping because we were up until about 11 watching fireworks yesterday and will be watching fireworks again tonight starting around 9:30 or 10. This is late considering my kids normally go to bed around 8:30-9 during both the school year and during summer. (I do let them stay up when there are things going on.)

Now I understand this may not be that weird or ruin their lives by itself but add to it the fact that I have them spend at least 40 min each day during the week working on reading, math, and such. They also sort and fold laundry, set and clear the table for meals, unload the dishwasher, and clean up all of their own toys every day. I am teaching them to clean the bathroom and vacuum the floor as well. Add to this I don't buy fad toys. They don't get the year's most wanted toys at Christmas.

I often worry about these things because of the "persecutions" that happen towards kids how don't have what is expected. These persecutions have happened for a long time and at all age groups. I remember them happening at school around me. Kids will pick on other kids because they don't have "cool clothes" or the most trendy toy. My girls have been excluded from play groups because they didn't have the right kind of stuffed animal or doll the other kids were playing with.

While I hate that my girls have been left out, I don't agree with the idea that all kids must like and play with everyone.  Is that weird? I believe and try to teach them we should work at being nice and try to find ways to include others regardless of age, gender, skin color, language spoken in the home, disability, and the like. But I also don't think it is a good idea to force them to play with people they have tried to play with but they just aren't compatible. It's a hard balance to teach to a kid. Here's my reasoning. I don't like everyone I meet. I don't hang out with everyone I meet. I do try to include them, make them feel welcome, and care for them in times of need. Why would I force my kids to do anything different? Also, kids have intuition as much as we do. If they don't feel good about being in someone's house or playing with them, I should trust them.

So much like almost every parent out there who is trying to be a good parent, I wonder if I am ruining their lives or teaching them important lessons. I wonder if they are learning the lessons the way that I am trying to teach them. Will they become the amazing people I envision and hope for? I can only teach, guide, and influence them. They will make the decisions that make them who they will become.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Samantha Marie (Sammi)

She's here. Samantha Marie arrived on April 18th at around 6:30pm. We have quite a story. Sorry it's so long. I tried to leave out gross and uncomfortable details.

My mom flew in the day before to be here. We had plans to get some shopping done but Samantha had different plans. I had a regular doctor's appt the next day (on the 18th). The doctor had informed me the week before that since I was measuring small (on the belly), she wanted to do a non-stress test. At the appt we discussed inducing as mom was here and it would make things a little less stressful with Jake's end of the semester schedule. She said the company didn't like doing inductions before 40 weeks so we would have to wait until Monday but she would do what she could to help, especially since I was fairly dilated.

After I finished talking with her, I went back to be hooked up to the monitor's to measure contractions, heart rate, and baby movement. Having been on the machine only about 10 minutes, the technician said she needed to take the results to the doctor. At that point the doctor came back and told me to head straight to the hospital. She wanted them to monitor me for a little bit and decide what action to take.

I walked out to the waiting room to grab Ellie and my mom so we could head to the hospital. At this point Ellie started having a meltdown about waiting to go to the doctor's office. She did not want to go to the hospital. I think she knew what was going on.

I called Jake, who was at work, and told him what was happening. I wasn't too worried or expected too much as I wasn't feeling many contractions and they definitely weren't painful.

The nurses and doctors at the hospital ran a few tests, did a little monitoring, and then told me I wouldn't be leaving the hospital until the baby was born. This was at about 12:00-12:30. They set me up in a labor and delivery room. After a short time, they administered pitocin. This was to regulate and strengthen the contractions. I think it was around 5:00 when I asked for the epidural. Leaving out gory details, Samantha was born at 6:30 with only about 5 pushes.

She weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. Ellie and Grandma Wendy had just gotten back to the hospital after heading home for naps.

Our little family.

 After the delivery, there were some complications. The placenta had been weakened and was not in good condition. This lead to problems with hemorrhaging and blood clots. Eventually they decided to do a D&C and found a piece of the placenta still attached. Through all this, I lost a lot of blood. They said about half; my hematocrit level was around 7.9 vs the normal almost 14. Luckily, I was in good hands and was well taken care of.

Ellie and baby Sammi

Happy Grandma

We were able to come home on Friday. I think Ellie was a little sad as there was a playground at the hospital and she liked playing there and meeting new friends.

Sammi ready to come home.

Ellie has adjusted to having sister at home and loves to hold and kiss her. She thinks it is funny when Sammi is hungry and tries to eat her or when Sammi opens her eyes and looks at her.

Still trying to figure out how to hold baby Sammi.

Sammi was sunning so Ellie wanted to do it too.

Sammi is a great baby so far. She sleeps fairly well through the night. She has started to stay awake a little during the day between feedings. She has the funniest little coos and squeaks.

Daddy, Ellie, and Sammi napping together.

Actually, Ellie and daddy were just pretending, as you can tell by Ellie's snoring face.


We love having Sammi here and are so blessed to have such great girls. I think we'll keep them. 

Crazy Ellie Talk

It's about time again to have a record of the funny things Ellie says. I am trying to remember so many things because I laugh all the time at what she tells me.

• She calls a flamingo a pink-cock until I correct her and then she calls it a flamin-ingo.
• She likes to pick random times (generally only 3, 8, 9 and 30 o'clock) and uses it as an excuse to do things. Some examples; "It's 8 a'clock. It's nap time." "Mommy, its 30 a'clock. Get dressed up and go to the store." "9 a'clock? Time a take a tub."
• Often I hear her half singing songs but usually jumbled together. "Twinkle, twinkle little star. How a wonder what you are. R S T U V W X Y an Z. D E F. X Y Z Now I know my A B C D F's next sing with me." This morning in the shower she started this, "I'm singing, in the water." Funny thing is we haven't watched Elf in a long time, long enough that she shouldn't know this from the movie.
• At seemingly random times, she will repeat something she heard on TV or a movie (we are learning to be careful about what she sees and hears).  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse often talks about Goofy's stinky shoes or his pineapple underpants. "Steffie has stinky shoes." "Mommy look at these daddy pineapple underpants" (referring to daddy size underwear not Jake's underwear specifically).
• Now Jake has taught her to put her fist on your cheek and say, "I gonna punch you in the face." I had seen him do it once or twice to her then she said it to me the other day.
• We have to be careful with music as well. She recognizes "I'm sexy and I know it" (if you couldn't tell from the previous post) and often says "I know it" as an echo to that line and "I wiggle" when she hears the song.
• Learning to share and interact with other kids affects her as well. A couple of times, even days after having a friend over or kids here playing, she will act traumatized about things that happened while they are here. "No Elena take Minnie." "Kate play at her house." "Baby Josh bonked my head."
• She is bossy and sassy as can be, especially with kids at playgroup. If she has a toy in the shower with us, she will tell me, "Mommy wash Ellie and Ellie wash (Minnie, ducky, orange, number B etc.)" Yes, she has brought a toy orange into the shower and she calls all letters "numbers". At playgroup, if a child hasn't listened to their parent after being told to stop doing something, she will place one hand on her hip, wave a finger in the air and repeat in a sassy tone whatever the parent told the kid. "No Gavin. It's Ellie's turn. No takin' it away." It's hard not to laugh but also very embarrassing. (Someone please point it out to me if they see me do this to her.)
• Many times I have told her that she is driving me bonkers. One day she walked over to me, placed her hands on my cheeks, shook my face and said, "Driving mommy bonkers." Now occasionally, if I look annoyed with what she's doing she'll ask "Ellie driving mommy bonkers?"
• Along with the previous point, she is a very loving and concerned child. She tries to discern my moods or feelings and will ask if I'm tired, hungry, etc. Then she will try to give advice. Some of it works, like "Mommy take a nap". Others not so much, "Ellie make dinner."

I love this child and hope that she continues to be happy and funny as I can always use a good laugh.

Just one of those days

Today has just been one of those days when you just want to look up and say "Really?". It started out just fine. Ellie woke up a little early but sat quietly on our bed and looked at books for about 30 minutes so I could be lazy. We headed downstairs for some "mi mou" (Mickey Mouse) before eating breakfast.  Ellie decided she wanted Corn Chex instead of Fruit Loops in her cereal bowl. After eating, I was sitting on the couch and must have dozed off because the next thing I know, Jake is telling Ellie to stop that and leave it alone. When I asked what, he said she had pulled like 5-6 wipes out of the container.  (She likes to wipe her face off then wipe anyone else's face before trying to wipe down the couches, chairs, tables, etc and then throwing them away.) Apparently since Jake caught her, she just went straight to the garbage with them. So I head over to check it out. There were close to 30 unused wipes sitting at the bottom of the new garbage bag.

Ellie has been trying to potty train herself for a while now. Every few days over the past couple of weeks, she would grab herself and talk like she was worried about messing her diaper but that has been about it. Within the last week or so, she will actually walk into the bathroom and pat the toilet seat like she wanted to sit down. Of course, by the time we are in the bathroom, she has already peed in the diaper. I decided to let her sit on the toilet to see if it helped her understand. The first time I sat her on the toilet, she screamed. The next time she was on and off in less than 2 seconds. Yesterday she sat on the toilet 3 times after peeing in her diaper but she would sit for 5-10 seconds.

This morning as we were jumping in the shower, I asked if she wanted to sit on the toilet and try to pee. So she sits down but I wasn't expecting much when I hear little splashes. Ellie starts to smile one of her biggest smiles at me. I couldn't believe it. She actually peed in the toilet at 19 months! I started to think maybe we should try to find a potty chair and buy some pull ups so she can work on it more. Then after the shower before a diaper is put on, she peed on the floor. Really?

Parenting is weird

It's weird some of the thoughts you have as a parent towards a child. The other night, I couldn't help but think of what an awesome little girl we have. Now I know that isn't a bad thing, but let me explain the situation.

Ellie goes to bed around 8:00 pm. Last Wednesday or Thursday we put her down like normal. She wasn't fussy or any trouble; just simply jama's on, teeth brushed, prayers said, lay her down, and she's out. We didn't hear a noise from her. About 11 when Jake and I were heading to bed, I stopped by her room to add an extra blanket (we turn the thermostat down at night). As I walked in, I knew something was wrong by the smell.  I called down to Jake because Ellie had thrown up.  The best/worst part was she was still asleep. So Jake woke her up and went to go bathe her. I proceed to clean the crib and throw all the sheets and blankets into the washers. Once she was all clean (now about 11:30), we bundled her up minus the pink blankie, and brought her into our bed. She rolled around a bit so I just picked her up and put her into her own bed, freshly cleaned with Clorox wipes and new sheets plus a little Febreze sprayed in the room.  She laid right down and went back to sleep. We didn't hear from her again until morning. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

But as a parent that feeling wears off quick enough once they've pulled a dirty diaper from the garbage or ripped pages from a book or when they continue to climb into a jump toy just to cry to be taken out again.

To eat or not to eat

Yesterday was one of those days when I truly understood why some animals eat their young. The day started out OK. Ellie actually ate almost 2 whole pancakes. After eating she started playing and then throwing tantrums.  Her new thing is climbing on everything. Recently she has figured out how to climb into her jumpy toy. Once she is in there, she starts crying to be taken out.

Love this face.

Here is the video of her climbing in. Listen for the crying after. She really hated that I just recorded this and didn't help her out.

She tried to hit me twice after taking away some of daddy's things that she wasn't supposed to play with. I decided I was tired of it so I put her in her crib and she fell asleep. I figured she was just sleepy from trying to get rid of one nap.

After the nap, we ate lunch. First thing she did was dump her noodles down the front of her. Normally that is something she does once she is done eating and no one listens to her pleas to be taken out of her chair. After a little eating, she was out playing and managed to climb on the tucked in chairs around the table. She likes climbing on the kitchen table.


She was fussing because she couldn't get up or down, so mom takes the picture.

Sometime during the rest of the day she took another nap (because mom just wanted her away for a bit), pulled the lid off a highlighter and drew on her mouth, climbed into the Tupperware cupboard and emptied it, reached onto the counter (which I didn't know she could do) and pulled raw chicken off and onto the newly cleaned floor, threw dinner onto the ground, hit me at least once more, and threw a few more tantrums for crackers, drinks or whatever.

Even with all that, she still wanted me to put her to bed that night and cuddled with me while drinking her night bottle. I guess that's why humans don't eat there children. I am just hoping this isn't an early start to the terrible 2s. She still makes me laugh.


Ellie in her moo-moo a goo-goo after a bath.

 

Ellie sitting in the cupboard, emptying the Tupperware. Yes, this makes me laugh...sometimes.

Time to Potty Train!?!?!?!

Those of you who are parents will understand this story and my question as to when you should potty train.

The other night Ellie had about 2 glasses of juice with dinner, she played for a bit, we changed her diaper and put her in pajamas, and gave her a bottle of milk. About half way through the night she started whimpering. I got up once and checked to make sure the blankets were still on top of her and that she wasn't too cold. Finally after Jake woke up and left for work, Ellie was still whimpering so I picked her up to bring her into our bed. As I picked her up, I noticed that she was soaked through from her knees to her chest she had wet that much in her diaper.

I stripped all the blankets off her bed, took her clothes off, changed her diaper and wiped her down.  We then went back to bed cause it was still around 6:30.

After breakfast that morning, I jumped into the shower with Ellie. We had finished up, I had dried her off and was in the process of drying myself off when I hear the sound of dripping. I look up to see Ellie peeing on the tile floor in the bathroom. (Thank you Ellie for peeing on the tile and not on the bathroom rug or on the carpet.) So I grab her and put her in the bath tub again to wash the piddle off her legs. I decide to just let her sit in there while I brush my hair before heading to put clothes on.

Next thing I hear is Ellie grunting away. Yes you guessed it. She then proceeded to poop in the tub (no water). I grab the diaper I had pulled off before the shower and use it to clean up her mess and then I washed her again. As I finish, she does it again and then a third time. Finally I have everything cleaned up (including the tub with bathroom cleaner) and we are able to get dressed.

I thought to myself "if she were only potty trained." But then I realized she doesn't talk a lot yet and I am not sure how much good it would do. Kids, seriously, who thought they were a good idea?

Don't worry, I laughed the whole time this was happening and thinking "only me."